i need an iv and a liver transplant
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
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