i feel like the prize bull at the rodeo. everybody got a ride, no one lasted more than 8 seconds and i'm pretty sure i kicked one of them in the ball sack
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
Hey, the point is, I have 3 guys to fuck to get over the last one. It's my golden rule. You told me to find a hobby! It translated as "find another guy".
That is the opposite way I told you to find a hobby.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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