we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
