You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Randomize
