her vagine was all disorganized.
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
last karaoke night = doing dmx songs with a guy who threatened to stab me. so yeah I'm coming out.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
