Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
If you fuck her..... You will be in great danger. Like in so much danger it would be like walking into a pit of crocodiles who haven't eaten and you also just stole their baby.
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
