I hate all girls vehemently.
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Randomize
