Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Randomize
