I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Fuck appropriateness.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Hey we met at the bar a week ago. Your friend gave me a rose and you asked about my nipples.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
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