Eww. Jon Gosselin got both his ears pierced.
He looks like a bad one night stand.
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
