Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
Randomize
