tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
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