On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Your amazing boobs made me fall in love with boobs. I never cared about boobs you should be proud
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
