Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
