shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I should probably go to bed before I start to care about why I started drinking in the first place.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
