You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
What drink are we having for lunch?
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Randomize
