Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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