That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Why is your signature on my underwear?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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