can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
