my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
he got a charlie horse midthrust which triggered my orgasm we're still sorting this out.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
