I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
