hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
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