I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
You spilled spaghetti on the floor, and kept telling the noodles to "settle down" as you tried to clean it up
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
