i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
well my apartment and my life are still a disaster but I did clean off my desk so that's gotta count for something...
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