He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I needed a test subject that didn't know any of my friends so that if i screwed up no one would really know or spread rumours about how it was the worst bj ever
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
We went to Olive Garden so high we didn't talk and managed to be awkward enough for the waiter to ask if it was our first date
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
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