why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
We're not piercing ourselves today.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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