I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Classy. Drunk on alcoholic "energy drink" at work before 8 am on a Tuesday. Between that and hanging out in bars with no pants on, your life is beginning to sound like a Bukowski novel.
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
He better not be in your backpack
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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