he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
