i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
She cheated on me with the same state trooper that wrote me a ticket.
I guess now you have a way to keep your license when you bring that up in court.
Dude, you are the most awesome.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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