Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I dont know if this is a good time to tell you but im actually a freshman.. not a senior
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Randomize
