it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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