You're my little dorito
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
