I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
Randomize
