She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
