I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
