Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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