"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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