jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
if my uterus stops caving in on itself long enough for me to be alive I'm there
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
