im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
she must've caught on when i went out for a "run" in jeans and a sweatshirt and came back holding a McDonalds bag and smelling like pot.
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
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