singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
