The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
