Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
