Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
You gave me the best orgasm of my life. I'm buying you a house
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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