is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
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