Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
