I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
Randomize
