grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
Randomize
