We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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