We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
Haha yeah this costume is worse than I imagined. I look more like a gothic hooker who caters specifically to creepy men with doll fetishes
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
All the doctor said was why
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
