So gin and wine won't be happening again
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
