i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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