His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
you inspire me to be a worse person
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
