I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
needless to say, I hope she has to get an abortion again
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
