There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
i would punch a child for taco bell
how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
we're doing beer bongs from the windmill...epic
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
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