he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
Randomize
