I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Tornado booty call.. dedication
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Then you guys just all showered together...?
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
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