Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
You whispered 'For Frodo', handed me your shirt, and charged campus security.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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