My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
